I'm a Mental Health Advocate...I'm Sorry I Don't Hold More Answers

By OneMoreLightLB - February 03, 2019



I'm sorry I don't always have the words.

I'm a fraud, I know. I talk a good game about mental health and supporting other people but there are times that I don't have the words to help.

I'm a hypocrite, I know. I shout about lack of mental health resources and then direct people there anyway.

I'm ineffectual, I know. I say empty words over empty space on social media, never really helping anyone. Never really making a difference.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I don't have the answers. I'm sorry I don't have the words to help you. I'm sorry that I call myself a mental health advocate but lack any power to actually help people.

The truth is that if I had the words then I would tell myself them every day. If I had the words then I wouldn't sometimes drown in the hollowing, burning in my gut that carves away at me.

If I had the words, I wouldn't lie in bed some nights unable to move, waiting for the weight to stop crushing me.

If I had the words then I wouldn't feel the wretched, soul crushing certainty that I'm going to be swallowed whole by my own mind. I wouldn't feel like I'm suffocating.

If I had the words then every scar on my arm would be a freckle from care free days spent in the sun, not reminders from a war from which echoes still linger.

If I had the words then it wouldn't feel like this virulent darkness had seeped into the marrow of my bones until I am it and it is me.

If I had the words then I could fight my own demons and pass you the cure. This life-giving epiphany, an eloquent miracle.

I've failed you, I know. I don't have the words and yet I profess to be some sort of champion. I'm sorry that I don't have the words to tell you right now in this moment that life will be okay. I'm sorry I don't have the answers you need. I'm sorry.

If I had the words I wouldn't feel like a fraud.






If you are struggling right now and feel like you need to talk to someone, The Samaritans can be reached at 116 123.



Interested in more content related to mental health? Click here to view more posts on this blog about mental health.

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2 comments

  1. As a uc claiminate, we get forgotton, similar to the drug addicts+homeless. We too, are often the dross of society. Unless, we're earning loads of tax, to give the thieving twats, known as our government,we're not important . X And as a person with mental health issues too.

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  2. Thanks for your great and helpful presentation I like your good service.I always appreciate your post. Excellent information on your blog, thank you for taking the time to share with us.

    ReplyDelete

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